War report

Seargent Sparky reporting from behind the enemy lines....Rat-a-Tat- tat.  Its been 48 hours since I've been at my post here, and nobody has come from base camp to relieve me yet.  BOOM! Duck, enemy fires 45 degrees to the right. Go investigate. Bow, Wow. BANG! Right there behind the curtains, another one. Run to investigate. Bow, Wow, Wow. WHACK!! an airborne missile zooming past the front window. Duck for cover. Bow, Wow, Wow, Wow. WHEEE!! another UFO launched by Charlie. Bow, Bow.

Whew. All quiet. Run to the water canteen. Gulp, gulp, Gulp. Dry throat, need more water. need to lie down and close my eyes just for a second. only a seco....BOOM BOOM! Whaaat? Wheere? Oh, run run, balcony under attack. Gotta save the family. Bow, Wow. Bow, Wow. There, you 2-legged morons. there! BANG! Run for cover. Evac the family, quick, they are closing in.

Pant, Pant. need to rest, cant go on for much longer without replacements. How can I desert the ranks, gotta save my family. Please, Please stop this. Cant you see I am going deaf? Are you not suffocating from the smoke and gunpowder smells? Even a foot soldier needs to rest sometimes. Where are my reinforcements??

Quiet. no sounds for last 3 minutes. hope they are dead, all of them. Cant wait to see the body bags of those ammos.....gotta sleep. S-L-E-E-P. 

BANG .BANG. WHACK. WHEEEEE . BOOM. bow wow wow wow wow wow wow. 

Slurp water. Slurp Slurp.  GRRRR. Who's that? Give me a break guys. STOP THIS NONSENSE. It hurts. 

Mom trying to pacify me. Drugging me. Allowing me in the bed. Extra chewies for the last 3 days. But its no good. I cannot relax when we are under attack from an unknown enemy. Invisible but deadly. Unleashing unbelievable noisy powerful weapons at will. Destroying the peace. Threatening our very existence. Releasing harmful substances- biological warfare.  

This ain't the time to get distracted by love and cuddles and nibbles. 

After all, I am a soldier. Will Dogmatically assert myself till I drop from sheer exhaustion. Will not go AWOL.




Sparky Blog

WORST NIGHTMARE

Preparations are underway for that dreaded time of the year. What humans so joyfully call the Festival of Lights, I would simply put as my "WORST NIGHTMARE" . While they eagerly await the holidays for the sweets and savouries and new clothes and visiting friends and relatives, I am lying on my bed, tormented at this thoughtless, mindless, and wasteful event that happens with unerring regularity every year.

Floors are being scrubbed with more vigour than ever, cupboards are being flung open and re-settled, kitchen jars, condiments and groceries are being re-arranged and everyone is going around in a frenzy. Arguments are on about which snack to prepare, how much sweet to make, to eat or not to eat considering all the health problems that afflict this family, and there is a hustle-bustle that is not seen at other times during the year.

At the best of times, I seem to be coming in the way of this 'autumn cleaning' -jumping over piles of clothes, stepping into wet patches on the floor and being yelled at. At the worst, i get nudged, told to get off the bed - and - other - favourite - hang-outs and ignored. 

That upstart has been coming to sleep here too. It seems that their house is being renovated and the dust and paint smells are harmful for her! Hey!! Her mere presence is 'harmful' for my peace of mind, but does anybody seem to care? No, Sir.  Mom says she has worked out the solution for this. Keep me locked up with G, and the upstart has free reign over the whole house!! What kind of solution is that, I ask you? In my own home, I am  being treated like a step-son? Mom is taking this "Atithi devo Bhava" concept over the top, if you ask me.

Anyway, so the last few weeks I have been a bit down, really. Hence the silence. What with my strange itch which required 3 trips to that hell-hole and 2 jabs by strange smelling humans, what with my appetite going topsy turvy with that medicine, and nobody knew what to do- one day I was as hungry as a Lion and the next I wouldnt want to hear about Food, it was  a really  bad few days. 

Thankfully things have settled down with the itch , I think Ganjoo's Neem bath helped. You should try it if you have the Itch too - boil a whole bunch of Neem leaves and then strain the water. Pour over yourself after your bath. And see the results for yourself!! Thanks buddy! 

Just By the way, and completely unrelated to my woes, Father Figure says its rude, colloquial and crass to say "Ganjoo".  But I have'nt gone to Finishing school, leave alone Dog school, so what do I know about all these things- eh? I just call people what comes to my head first, no exceptions. And Ganjoo has been Ganjoo for all my life, and thats the way he is going to stay, unless he sprouts a crop of hair.

Mom has another way to keep me calm, as she calls it. AC on. TV on- LOUD, She in room. And me, allowed on BED.  Windows- firmly shut. Doors - ditto. And just because I dont mind the extra attention, I would not like to point out- that my ears are made of stronger stuff, and a few centimetres of glass and wood are'nt going to block out that awful noise. This futile effort would be really funny if it was'nt so traumatic.